It's the little things that make you wonder.....

Well today I go to look after my God children as there parents are going through I guess I will call it a rough patch.
Their parents got married 4 years ago after being together for over 14 years. A lavish wedding that they had saved up for 10 years to celebrate their union.The day was perfect, I was lucky enough to do the candle reading and I cried as they said their vows in front of everyone. Everyone who knew M & D said they where solid the most perfect couple.There was a few things that I over looked I guess with D - I think when you know someone you are willing t forgive the little things, but now it's moments I question.
Before M & D got married we had a gathering at a pub/ club that we went to that we loved at the time - they had a band that played 80's music that we would dance to and the boys would even join us at times - lots of laughter and just them good time places where it would bring everyone together and have a good time.
I remembered this one night I had to work (I have two jobs) and said I would join everyone once I had finished. I never got dressed up at these places as it was a down to earth kind of place - but I'm not one for wanting to draw the wrong kind of attention anyway. So I had on a pair of jeans and just a simple black top a little like a t-shirt but the material was sewn in such a way that it feel in a pattern nice and simple.
When I got there everyone was having a good time - I noticed that D was very drunk and he couldn't even stand up straight. As he tried to steady himself up against the wall he learned in and looked me up and down and said "Nada if I wasn't marrying M...." I interrupted and said "Don't - I don't want to hear it" and walked away - I couldn't believe what I had heard!
This guy was about to marry one of my best friends and I just couldn't believe it but it was a moment that always stuck in my head where I questioned his character.
You see my own father was an alcoholic and there are certain traits that he had that I saw in D. My father was not only an alcoholic but a gambler and a cheater - it's bizarre when you are living that life and it's a life you want to leave, I did question why my mother stayed?
I find myself questioning things again but with M you see a few months ago she discovered that D had slept with another women - more then once- and it was also his boss at work. He never admitted it to her either she discovered it. She was 4 months pregnant and wondering why her husband was telling her to get rid of it - like it was a lamp that was sitting on his bed side table that he didn't like.
Thankfully she listened to me and her mother that said no - it's here for a reason. D had started to display some bizarre behaviours and this got M curious - she found his phone and discovered his secret.
So this has lead on to a whole lot of other things but M is wanting to make it work - although she sees him for the man he really is - and he is someone that puts her down, blames her for things and more. Initially she wanted to make it work for the kids but now I think she does want to make it work for herself and to me it feels like I just have to watch an accident unfold - because although she knows he's maybe not the man for her now - out of embarrassment she wants to stay with him.
I always say you never really knew someone - often you do - but every now and again you think you do and discover you don't.The thing is when I think about the person I want to be with I think it is someone I do want to get married to - not that I think getting married is everything but I do think it's nice and I like the tradition of marriage - I think commitment and values are the most important to me besides being someone you get along with. Someone who would be there for me and his children and be a good father and role model. Bringing up children is not easy and I think having someone there who is happy with that role in life is important.
I think with my own father he never wanted to be a father at all - I think people want a lot out of life and not that that's a bad thing it's always good to strive for things but I think people forget to be content with what they have.
Contentment is something I have had to learn - to just stop and be happy with what I've got.

It gets a little harder this relationship thing - because although I could be in a great relationship with someone let's say right now - this event would be affecting ours - granted in the smallest way but it would affect.For the time being I don't have to worry about that but it does make me wonder.......

When you have the flu not a lot gets done......

Well having the flu is never fun but with this negative comes a positive and that has been weight loss - nearly a kilo a day now.This flu could not have come at a worse time, on my holidays from work. I had all these grand plans to attack everything on my "To Do" list.I can truthfully say not much has been ticked off the list, although I feel like I have other items that I have been ignoring and need to maybe attach to my to do list? Amongst getting to the accountant to get my tax done, cleaning the bathroom and maybe putting the exercise bike on eBay. I feel that I need to add find potential husband and have babies. I'm single and wait for it in my thirties (shock horror).
Life hasn't turned out how I expected at all! I remember being sixteen and telling my friend that when I was twenty-three I wanted to be living in the city with my boyfriend and look hot in a pair of jeans.Don't ask why but that was my dream or 'fairy-tale'. Little did I know that life actually went on after 23 years, I guess at 16 years of age you think 23 is old!!
Instead at 23 I was single (fresh out of a relationship), I had just bought a home in the burbs and was saving every little dollar I had left to go traveling and I dare not even try on a pair of jeans at the moment.Somehow along the way I found myself trying to keep my head above water paying all the bills, working, trying to catch up with friends. I think I forgot about me.
I thought best to address the situation as even I think 8 years with very few dates is not the best case scenario.
In the past I had been offered by others to be set up on dates, even offered an arranged marriage (which I refused - a story I might share later on), done the Internet dating thing and even the random meet at a bar let's go out thing.The thought of Internet dating makes me cringe and I think that it's just like taking medicine or ripping off a band aid - the sooner it's over and done with, the sooner it's over and done with.
I wonder is there other ways of meeting men?
With my 32ND Birthday less then three months away I hope to get a date in (is one too much to ask for?).
What better way to enjoy the experience then by Blogging it.
Enjoy.