Happy Birthday to me

OK so it's my 32nd birthday and SOOOOO much has happened.

So my next door neighbour thought she would play match maker and told me about a guy that she worked with that she thought that we would hit it off instantly.......we hit it off but not how she expected I'm sure!

So one day after work I was so tired and thought I would forgo my regular Tuesday night walk and went home for a nap instead. I walked in the door at 4.30pm and went straight to bed and woke at 7.30pm.
I looked forward to sitting down with a cuppa and getting on the internet to check Facebook more then likey when there was a knock on the door - it scared me so that I spilt my coffee all over the table. I checked the door and it was my neighbour - I opend the door and she said - right we have some business to do - I was thinking she was talking about the website that she doing for me - not so it was my love life she was talking about.
She logged onto Facebook to show me a photo of this guy at work that she had been going on about - I checked out his photo and he seemed nice enough. So I thought it would be ok if she passed on my email address or phone number.
For whatever reason and I'm not sure why I was told that he had added me as a facebook friend. ookkkkk then not sure why but whatever I guess.
When I accepted his friend request I noticed that there was no message so I thought I would write one....I wrote

................Hi, I'm sorry I must have misplaced your Facebook message. Do I know you??I'm only kidding - I know cupid has gone about her little way to set this up :)Wasn't too sure if you just wanted me to accept your friendship request and let you well firstly see some better photos then the ones O's has on her FB page!! Horrid!! hahahaOr if you wanted me to write? I thought I would send you a message as I am rarely on FB (I don't build farms or play Mafia wars so that kind of cuts down FB time for me).I'm not too sure what your work situation is but if you wanted my work email address not sure if that would be easier? (personally it would make my day goquicker :)
I have a long day tomorrow - no time off the phones - think O's told you I work at a call centre?) if not I'll try and get online at some stage over the weekend other wise Melbourne Cup day is looking good :)I'll leave you now to suss out my page (if you haven't already......no I'm sure you read this first.....should I insert I hope?? haha)

he replied...

Hi how are you?hope you are well, sorry for taking a bit to reply, have been busy this weekend already, had friday off which was a bonus and have monday too....i will email you at your work address next week ok.i have checked every one of your photos in detail ok, some very interesting ones there for sure hehehe!!! looks like you have fun which is great, lifes too short not to enjoy it. i still cant figure out that bottle going around at O's 30th, that looked kind of hardcore hehehe!!!Hope you look at my pics and let me know if you have any questions about you, anyway i think its hard to write rather than talk, but in the mean time take care and have a good rest during the break.
M

I didn't understand if it was harder to write then talk why not suggest to meet up?? This guy is in his Mid 30's is that too much to ask?? Anyway I started my reply when I got a facebook chat....

11.38am M
hi
11:39am H oh hello I am getting your reply ready :)
11:40amM jajajja good one
11:41amH I'm going to send what I have written... nearing on a book if I had kept going hahah
11: 40am M well, hit me with it
11:42amH done :)
11:43amM what does it say my fb has chucked a spass
11:44amH ummm have you checked your inbox? ok chucked spass damn! it's kind of long ummmm it's fluff really - where you hoping for something - damn I knew I should have asked 20 questions!! haha
11:45amM im in
11:45amH yay
This was my message..
Hi M,
I'll excuse your tardiness in reply - that's ok - I didn't slit my wrists!! hahah I'm sooooo taking the piss I love to do that maybe I should ease up because you don't know me yet?? I was hoping that I wouldn't here from you until Wednesday and then I could have said 'it's ok I've seen the movie I understand your just not that into me - it's ok' hahaha...... damn I can't do that now!! :)You know there is a 3 day rule on replies/ calls so you made it and your not tardy at all let me make that clear :) Well I'm hating everyone who got the Friday & Monday off SO jealous!!!! but I guess someone has to hold the fort - I'm serving the community.Have you really checked out every single photo out in detail?? You will be tested in person just to make sure..Well I had a quick look at your photos there is some that I would comment but I'll leave it for another time - couldn't look at the South American photos - would break my heart!!! I wanted to do South America & South Africa for the world cup next year but those plans have changed so it will kill me to look at them it's a place I have wanted to go to for a while now.The bottle at S's going away party was O's idea - NO IDEA that she would post all of them!!! hahaha Well here from you soon ....ok just got a message better send what I have then :)ok and send ....


11:46amM right.....
11:46am H ok is that bad?? hahah
11:46amM what da what 3 day rule its 3 weeks for me so you ve done ok
11:47amH 3 weeks !! hahaha
11:47amM i know someone that works at your cl
11:47amH I was going to leave your reply and O's gave me a lecture!! who do you know yeah you could have waited 3 days / weeks too hahah
11:47amM i looked at every pic for sure, but i dont have photographic memory, in fact i dont remember many things
11:48amH as long as you remember your name that's a start :)
11:48amM thats about all i can remember on a good day so whats your background
11:49amH do you know the persons name from call centre or you blank for a moment :) 11:49amM ive got a mate doing a police check on you atm, hope you dont mind, ive really met some whackos in my time i just have to be sure, i dont trust anyone really guilty b4 proven innocent thats the only way to do it
11:52amH I'm born here parents from former Yugoslavia - I said to O's I'm sure he's Spanish you know my name means nothing in spanish...she like no I think he is from Malta! NOT! nah that's cool I'm sure I covered my tracks well :) I LOVE whako stories
11:52amM well it means "nothing" and also can mean "swim" so what does it mean in your language cant believe she said that, moron
11:54amH hope it is Arabic means generous
11:55amM you hope or you know
11:55amH oh in slavic it means hope not hopeless just hope I know
nadam se means I hope that in croatian
11:56amM im really sorry, but i gotta run, gotta go to the chemist
11:57am H laters (at this point I longed out - and missed this little message)
11:57amM i ran out of condoms and you never know when you might need some hehehehe i buy them in bulk, packs of 200 hehehehe omg
10:22pmMis offline. Then he sent a message
M November 1 at 12:04pm Report hey where u go? you keep dropping out on fb. im playing soccer this afternoon, ill be on later on today about 6pm. chao bye

The try hard joke so at the wrong point in the conversation.
When I go back and read it again I ask myself what interest does he have in me really??? I made it easy for him mentioning travel in my message something we both have done, he could have said they he highly recommends I go to South America - instead he decided that let's lighten the mood and not in the right way! When I read that I think ummmmm so all you want is a root? Sorry do I come across as a two bit whore??????? not a problem well still give him the benefit of the doubt.
Then on Monday at work I receive this ..................
Hi, Must not be a good feeling working today, so i thought i would give you some encouragement to get through the day! Well, you can email me at this address which is work’s. My mobile number is below, the other numbers will be active from next week (as we are moving premises on the weekend) Have a good day okay, don’t work too hard....i wont .... Hope you don’t get too many calls. bye Regards, M

I'm sorry do you know the meaning of encouragement????? Was his number supposed to be the encouragement in the email? Seriously at this point I'm thinking - I think he is a wanker.

So I felt pretty sure I was on the money and sent back this........

Hi M,
Look I don't mean to be rude with this reply but simply I don't think this is going to work.
I wish you all the very best.
H

He then replied with this

Hi H, You are not rude at all, in the contrary, i appreciate your honesty and forgive me for trying to be strangely funny which might have offended you. That was not my intention of course, that’s not what i am about at all. Take care okay and i wish you all the best also, you seem like a great girl, M

I felt so angry how did he know I was a great girl HE HAD NEVER MEET ME!!!!!! so maybe I was over reacting when I sent this but felt that it needed to be said.

Hi M,
Let me make it very clear I was not offended by your joke. I didn't even see the final part of your joke until later that night.
When I saw your picture I told O's to pass on my number or email - for what ever reason you added me as a facebook friend - ok maybe you are shy I thought? But then in your reply to my first message you mentioned that it was harder to write then talk? I don't understand then why you would chose to write when my number was offered to you?
During the messages on Facebook I didn't get the vibe at all that you are interested - if you read back over it we had some small chit chat you had basically asked me what my name meant and then leapt in with your chemist joke. If I had seen the part about the condoms - I would have thought this was a weird thing to write to someone you had not meet. If I had seen it I may have replied, but it had failed with it's delivery.
On Monday when you sent that email with your work email and number I was left confused did you want me to pick up the phone and ask you out? Not sure but I thought at this stage there was nothing really telling me you where interested and thought that maybe you where being polite to O's? Anyway, just thought I would offer you a further explanation why I decided not to take things any further. Just a heads up - someones attempt at humour can often be lost in translation. I think allowing the other person to get comfortable with you first would further help when you attempt a joke such as that one - email, msn & phone messages can get misconstrued.
Also maybe if writing is not your strength just call - I would have much rather just go out for a coffee & get to know each other than sending emails & messages back & forth especially if you were not comfortable doing so.

Yet again he replied - seriously I need to get the last word in damn it!
Hi H Thanks for your email, i was really busy yesterday at work and didn’t get to my NEC email , we are moving premises at the moment and its all hectic and crazy. The reason why i added you on facebook was because i was with O's here in the office and she showed me her pictures and then i added you. (she is so lovely btw) I was interested in meeting you, but i think i needed more time as i am in the process of getting over a relationship. I wasn’t uninterested, a picture doesn’t mean much to me, like i hate myself in pictures and they don’t do me justice (well that's what i think), there is more to a person than that anyway. I should have been upfront and let you know what sort of state i was in since you didn’t know that. I actually don’t have your number, but i would like to have it so that i could call you and say hi, and get to know you better. Please let me know, Have a lovely day,
M

Good Grief!!!

Hi M,
I know your busy and I'm sorry to be taking your time up with this situation.
I'm sorry if I came across harsh at all in the last email that was not my intention, although I did want to point out to you for a future reference that maybe just to be a little more aware re; what you send. Again I was not offended if anything just maybe a little disappointed is all.
I'm sorry about your previous relationship but don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you may not be ready for - sometimes time helps a little.
Thank you for the kind offer with the number but I think maybe you need to just enjoy being single for a while- you might enjoy it?
Take care and all the best
H

yet again he replied....

Thanks H, You take care as well okay. And thanks for being so understanding
M

At this point O's had email me, pissed off with the way the whole thing had gone and served me up with some home truths.

After talking to a friend I thought I would send this.......

Hi M, Look I've been thinking that this situation got off on the wrong foot. Thought maybe we could go out for a casual drink if you are up for it? I hear alco-ma-hol and time go well together :) Let me know, if it's easier for you to call, my mobile number is ********** H



Needless to say after a few missed calls and talking on the phone we are meeting up tonight on my 32nd birthday!!!!

This should be interesting......I have been warned he has been growing a Chopper like beard for Movember.......Stay tuned...

Out with the old and in with the new......

OK so it has been a while I know - it has been a somewhat drama filled month or so.
Well the drama with D & M continued and it been a month of valuable lesson learning.
It has all come at a price also and I think it's one of them pinnacle moments in my life that I won't forget in a hurry.
So it was getting closer to the impending birth of D & M's baby and M had decided that she didn't want D to be at the birth. That was understandable - they where still trying to sort out there problems and M had an issue with the fact that D wanted to control every aspect of her life.He would dictate what friends she had, which family members she could talk to, how much she spent what would happen with the house etc; any person would be thinking control freak? Well most people would anyway.So a few days before the birth we go and watch a movie and afterwards we sit down for pancakes.M tells me that she saw a photo of the other women (aka the women who her husband had slept with more then once also known as his boss) she told me that she looked a lot like me and in fact could pass for my sister).So I thought after all the things we where talking about I would tell her about the night club incident that I had been thinking about for the past five years and how wrong it was of him to do such a thing.As I type the words now it seems like a bad story line out of Days of our Lives - M was clearly upset but just held it all together I could tell she was pushing me away.
Although on the drive home I started to question our friendship and all I had done - the fact that she forgot my birthday and never got me a Christmas present (well that is kind of a lie - she did get me golf clubs but I already had golf clubs so she took them back and that was that). How much time I had taken off work and also my personal life to attend to her problems with her marriage and where was that leaving me - going to bed on my own and having no one to come home to.There were many other things that would be too long to elaborate on.
I had taken her laptop to get fixed and got a call back regarding it - so I called and left a message on her home phone.Later that night I received a message from M saying the following " Just got message. Laptop great news miss it and if you can get it back asap as he wants it. I know you probably thinking about last night just don't think you did the best timing for telling me something like that! but am just focusing on labour right now. Let me know when get laptop back" I couldn't believe it I had gone and got that laptop fixed for her not him - it was due to him looking at porno that the laptop got a virus in the first place!!! Also when is the right time to tell someone that there husband has always had a cheating streak in him??My reply was simple "Will get laptop back to you soon. I think maybe I should stay away for a while so you can sort things out. I've been worrying too much what is happening to you and it's your life to do as you please. I just wish you the best. Good luck with birth."
This was someone that I was to assist during the birth and at the pancake parlour she had advised how he had said there would be consequences if he was not at the birth - although stating that she didn' t want him there she had decided that she couldn't bear to put up with D if he was left out of the birth.This being a man who pressured her to have an abortion at four months was saying would want nothing to do with the baby to all of a sudden wanting to be there and be part of that!
Well all I had done for her since her break up amounted to nothing as when M gave birth I didn't even warrant a phone call - the Godmother of her children and being there all that time amounted to me being added to the group message that was sent out.
That was it - friendship over! This was the final straw that broke the camels back I had put up with and put up with and this is the one that I thought enough was enough.
It's time for me and my life.
So I have let go of a draining relationship with a friend and learnt that I should never ever ever let that happen when in a relationship - My husband / partner and l will be my number one priority - and if I do meet someone who takes me for granted hopefully I will pick up them signs early on.
Well about a month now till I turn 32 years of age. Can much happen in a month? Well Khloe Kardasian got married in a month so I guess anything is possible right?

It's the little things that make you wonder.....

Well today I go to look after my God children as there parents are going through I guess I will call it a rough patch.
Their parents got married 4 years ago after being together for over 14 years. A lavish wedding that they had saved up for 10 years to celebrate their union.The day was perfect, I was lucky enough to do the candle reading and I cried as they said their vows in front of everyone. Everyone who knew M & D said they where solid the most perfect couple.There was a few things that I over looked I guess with D - I think when you know someone you are willing t forgive the little things, but now it's moments I question.
Before M & D got married we had a gathering at a pub/ club that we went to that we loved at the time - they had a band that played 80's music that we would dance to and the boys would even join us at times - lots of laughter and just them good time places where it would bring everyone together and have a good time.
I remembered this one night I had to work (I have two jobs) and said I would join everyone once I had finished. I never got dressed up at these places as it was a down to earth kind of place - but I'm not one for wanting to draw the wrong kind of attention anyway. So I had on a pair of jeans and just a simple black top a little like a t-shirt but the material was sewn in such a way that it feel in a pattern nice and simple.
When I got there everyone was having a good time - I noticed that D was very drunk and he couldn't even stand up straight. As he tried to steady himself up against the wall he learned in and looked me up and down and said "Nada if I wasn't marrying M...." I interrupted and said "Don't - I don't want to hear it" and walked away - I couldn't believe what I had heard!
This guy was about to marry one of my best friends and I just couldn't believe it but it was a moment that always stuck in my head where I questioned his character.
You see my own father was an alcoholic and there are certain traits that he had that I saw in D. My father was not only an alcoholic but a gambler and a cheater - it's bizarre when you are living that life and it's a life you want to leave, I did question why my mother stayed?
I find myself questioning things again but with M you see a few months ago she discovered that D had slept with another women - more then once- and it was also his boss at work. He never admitted it to her either she discovered it. She was 4 months pregnant and wondering why her husband was telling her to get rid of it - like it was a lamp that was sitting on his bed side table that he didn't like.
Thankfully she listened to me and her mother that said no - it's here for a reason. D had started to display some bizarre behaviours and this got M curious - she found his phone and discovered his secret.
So this has lead on to a whole lot of other things but M is wanting to make it work - although she sees him for the man he really is - and he is someone that puts her down, blames her for things and more. Initially she wanted to make it work for the kids but now I think she does want to make it work for herself and to me it feels like I just have to watch an accident unfold - because although she knows he's maybe not the man for her now - out of embarrassment she wants to stay with him.
I always say you never really knew someone - often you do - but every now and again you think you do and discover you don't.The thing is when I think about the person I want to be with I think it is someone I do want to get married to - not that I think getting married is everything but I do think it's nice and I like the tradition of marriage - I think commitment and values are the most important to me besides being someone you get along with. Someone who would be there for me and his children and be a good father and role model. Bringing up children is not easy and I think having someone there who is happy with that role in life is important.
I think with my own father he never wanted to be a father at all - I think people want a lot out of life and not that that's a bad thing it's always good to strive for things but I think people forget to be content with what they have.
Contentment is something I have had to learn - to just stop and be happy with what I've got.

It gets a little harder this relationship thing - because although I could be in a great relationship with someone let's say right now - this event would be affecting ours - granted in the smallest way but it would affect.For the time being I don't have to worry about that but it does make me wonder.......

When you have the flu not a lot gets done......

Well having the flu is never fun but with this negative comes a positive and that has been weight loss - nearly a kilo a day now.This flu could not have come at a worse time, on my holidays from work. I had all these grand plans to attack everything on my "To Do" list.I can truthfully say not much has been ticked off the list, although I feel like I have other items that I have been ignoring and need to maybe attach to my to do list? Amongst getting to the accountant to get my tax done, cleaning the bathroom and maybe putting the exercise bike on eBay. I feel that I need to add find potential husband and have babies. I'm single and wait for it in my thirties (shock horror).
Life hasn't turned out how I expected at all! I remember being sixteen and telling my friend that when I was twenty-three I wanted to be living in the city with my boyfriend and look hot in a pair of jeans.Don't ask why but that was my dream or 'fairy-tale'. Little did I know that life actually went on after 23 years, I guess at 16 years of age you think 23 is old!!
Instead at 23 I was single (fresh out of a relationship), I had just bought a home in the burbs and was saving every little dollar I had left to go traveling and I dare not even try on a pair of jeans at the moment.Somehow along the way I found myself trying to keep my head above water paying all the bills, working, trying to catch up with friends. I think I forgot about me.
I thought best to address the situation as even I think 8 years with very few dates is not the best case scenario.
In the past I had been offered by others to be set up on dates, even offered an arranged marriage (which I refused - a story I might share later on), done the Internet dating thing and even the random meet at a bar let's go out thing.The thought of Internet dating makes me cringe and I think that it's just like taking medicine or ripping off a band aid - the sooner it's over and done with, the sooner it's over and done with.
I wonder is there other ways of meeting men?
With my 32ND Birthday less then three months away I hope to get a date in (is one too much to ask for?).
What better way to enjoy the experience then by Blogging it.
Enjoy.